Loving the Little Years = Gag Me.

I like to think of my "day" starting when I officially get out of bed. All too often I reference my day starting at midnight... and for all of you out there who have munchkins, a baby, or even those who have trouble sleeping, this "middle-of-the-night-being-called-the-beginning-of-the-day" thing sets us up to fail. Because then the truth of my day becomes the point that I woke up three times with Cameron screaming at the top of his lungs, twice to feed the babe and once to remove a sweaty three and a half year old from her little wedge of space on my pillow and across her Daddy's back.

Ideally, when I first wake up, I like to stretch, grab my phone and open my YouVersion Bible App, read my devotional, pray and thank God in advance for my patience, my sweet kiddos listening ears and helping hands. Sigh. Perfect world right there.  How it really goes... Cameron is up at about 5:45am for the day. Chad gets up at this time for work so he gets him set up with milk and breakfast or whatever {I'm nursing or in a groggy fog, so I have no idea!}. Shortly after nursing the bambino, Cameron ALWAYS throws open my bedroom door and instead of me being in my cutesy "one-on-one time with the big man" I am pleading with a toddler not wake up the baby so Mommy can manage to do SOMETHING productive before my hands are tied.

I am typing this in the rare quiet moment when Liam is down for his morning nap and there aren't blood curdling screams coming from the other three. I am typing this because it needs to be said. Too many Mama's I have encountered just need a little breathing room, a reprieve, a place to come for solace and commonality, a break, a virtual high-five for not completely losing it, or maybe just a good laugh.
I have a collection references from books and scripture and friends and fellow Mama's and family who have all "been there, done that". The talks on how parenting is "the hardest thing in the world" and "don't worry about the to-do lists, you just focus on those kiddos" and the "this time goes by sooo quickly" and the book that my dear friend {hugs Kristy!} gave me titled, 'Loving the Little Years' that I want to throw against a wall due to the title alone.  Don't get me wrong. I adore my kids. I love their flawed, beautiful, perfect souls.  ...Today though, really, honestly... I just don't feel the calling to be a stay at home Mom... {and in all actuality a work at home Mom with two businesses}. Really.
Not feeling it. I don't throw that around lightly because I know so many wonderful women who would chop off a few fingers to be home all day with their sweeties. I also know Mommy's who wouldn't trade working full time to be home for anything in the world. I'm just sharing my truth in today.

It is now 4pm and "today" can take a hike. All before 1pm this list of shenanigans occurred: Cameron and Noah decided they were SOOO excited about the Trader Joe's Strawberry Yogurt Cereal that was new, that they just HAD to bring it in my bed and spill it everywhere. I mean, who doesn't like crumbs IN sheets?! It's cool... it was just on Daddy's side. {ha. He'll "thank" me later by pushing them on my side and not say a word about it. Nice. Good thing I know his moves.} At the same time, I was pumping so I would have a bottle for Liam so I could work for a few hours tonight. Mid sentence asking Cameron to calm down, he lunged at me and grabbed the pump, yes, OFF OF ME and milk went everywhere. Yep. The random events didn't stop there... others included a container of guac that happened to fall out of the fridge and project its contents down my son and the floor {that I just mopped from yet another cheerio and wheely bug crushing incident}. Liam had a blow out of epic proportion that resulted in both of us having to bathe/shower. Then, to seal the deal, I bit it down a flight of stairs. Awe-some.

Standing at my sink, washing the dozenth dish of the day, the verse "All my hope is in You" kept repeating in my head. I chuckled when I thought about how many days go this way.  How many times I really just flat out do not think that I am cut out for this job.  And in these moments, I realize a few things:

1) It's okay. It's okay to have a crappy day. It's okay. 'Nuf said. Grace. It covers all of us.

2) God has new mercies every day. I like to think that the moments where I am on my knees at the feet of Jesus begging him to take this burden or that burden {or have a spa day magically occur} AND the moments where I am on my knees in front of my kiddos explaining that "Mommy's temper tantrum was not okay", are the real meat and potatoes of raw parenting. Faith, forgiveness and an infinite love.

3) Initially the book title 'Loving the Little Years' made me gag. What if I DON'T like the little years?! And instantly I felt like half of a Mom for having such horrid thoughts. Then I read the subtitle, 'Motherhood in the Trenches'... and it hit me. We certainly ARE in the thick of it during these years with kiddos in-home and we need each other. Judgement aside, we cling to each other like the last floatation device at sea. And we breathe. {and if you haven't read this book... you MUST}

4) Wine.

Thanks for being you and being authentic. We like that 'round here.

If you're looking for a few places for laughs and good ole fashioned Mama high-fivin', check out a few of the places that work out my abs... Momastery, The Big Mama Blog, Schrage Soapbox, Good Morning Girls.

At His Feet,

Teegan